


Hope Is the Thing with Feathers

by BellamyStilinski



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Basically it's in the canon verse except there are soulmates, Boys who don't know how to deal with feelings, College/University, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Miscommunication, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-07
Updated: 2017-09-07
Packaged: 2018-12-24 21:40:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12021573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BellamyStilinski/pseuds/BellamyStilinski
Summary: Kuroo remembers the moment fondly. They were in their second year of high school, laying on the floor of an empty classroom one night during training camp. Kuroo learned so much about him that night. He can still remember how he felt, staring at this beam of sunshine in the dark room, watching him as he spoke about everything and anything, with passion for all of it.That’s why he knows how much having a soulmate means to Bokuto. And while Bokuto has  expressed a genuine fear of never getting his soulmark, Kuroo has always done everything to reassure him that that won’t happen. Bokuto deserves the kind of love that people dream about. And Kuroo knows that it’s out there waiting for him. The universe would never disappoint its greatest creation.-Alternatively: local university boys don't know what to do with their emotions even when the universe does most of the work for them.





	Hope Is the Thing with Feathers

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is - my first real fic! I forced myself to start writing again just because the world needs more bokuroo content.
> 
> Thank you just for opening this fic and giving it a chance. It means a lot to me.
> 
> A HUGE thank you to [Becca](http://sugakoush.tumblr.com) for reading and editing this and giving me feed back. I really appreciate it.
> 
> And to my best friend, [Jess](http://kagekuroo.tumblr.com), for being an overall inspiration to write and for giving me ideas to bounce off of. 
> 
> Thank you again for being here. This first chapter got way longer than I anticipated. I hope you enjoy. <3

Kuroo swears he didn’t set an alarm for 3:57 in the morning.

The edges of his vision blur as he stares at his phone. He doesn’t understand where the sound is coming from. He just knows it’s not the device in his hand. Kuroo throws the phone back onto his bed, blinking away the white spots caused by the entirely-too-bright-for-four-am screen.

Before Kuroo can bring himself to get up and scope out what’s happening, the sound stops. He figures it was probably Oikawa, now that his mind isn’t completely fogged with sleep. Kuroo wants to get up and check if his roommate is okay, but he can barely keep his eyes open. _I’m sure he’s fine_ he tells himself before sleep begins to pull him back into unconsciousness.

Next thing he knows, Kuroo is being ripped back to reality again, this time by Oikawa jumping directly onto his bed and shrieking Kuroo’s name.

He shouldn’t have gone back to sleep. Everything feels so much worse now.

Almost punching Oikawa in the face, Kuroo flails trying to make sense of what’s happening. He slaps his bed repeatedly until his phone is once again in his hand. He sees that it’s only 4:32 and he wants to die.

“It is four-fucking-thirty in the fucking morning.” Kuroo can’t even bring himself to raise his voice in anger; he just hopes Oikawa can hear it in his tone. Or see his glare in the dark.

When Oikawa doesn’t respond, Kuroo realizes that the other boy is physically shaking where he sits on his shins down by Kuroo’s feet. It’s a subtle movement, and Kuroo considers the fact that Oikawa isn’t actually aware that he’s shaking. “This better be good, Oikawa. I swear to God.”

“I–” Kuroo perks up slightly at Oikawa’s uncertainty. He’s not used to the setter being timid about anything. “Tetsu-chan,” Oikawa’s voice is now a whisper, “my soulmark appeared.”

Kuroo sits up faster than he knew he was capable of. He regrets it immediately as his back cracks in about 15 different places and his head spins.

“ _What?_ ”

“I got my soulmark. It’s on my thigh. Right above my knee. It actually hurt really bad. That’s why I was screaming. Rude, by the way. Not even coming to my rescue. I could have been dying–”

“I didn’t realize you talked this much when you were anxious. I thought you were more of the suffer-in-silence type.”

“You would know.” Oikawa sing-songs, an edge in his voice.

“That’s true.” Kuroo slowly lies back down, putting his hands behind his head. “C’mon, turn the light on. I want to see this thing that made you scream me awake.”

“Your concern is always appreciated, Tetsu-chan.”

“Obviously,” Kuroo deadpans. “But seriously, I should just keep people about to get their soulmarks in my room at all times. You made a really good alarm clock.”

“I _am_ sorry I woke you up. Both times.”

“Nah, I get it. I should’ve came and checked on you.”

“No, I mean, you were probably half asleep anyway and didn’t know what was going on. I don’t blame you for just going back to sleep.”

“You made sure that didn’t last long anyway.”

“I said I was sorry!”

“Oikawa, turn on the fucking light.”

He does as he’s told and Kuroo finds himself regretting his third decision of the night.

“Jesus, I feel like I have a hangover.”

“You probably do have a hangover. You and Kou-chan got pretty drunk last night. I really thought you’d be able to hold your liquor better than that, you know. Not to mention you two were in bed like a little after midnight.”

“Fuck, I forgot about that.”

“You blacked out, too? You didn’t even drink that much, Tet–”

“Holy shit, come here and let me look at your leg.”

“So forward, Tetsurou.”

“I’m going to forward you through the fucking window. Come here.”

“That may be the worst insult you’ve ever come up with. I don’t even think it made sense.”

“Do I need to repeat that it’s 4:30 in the morning–”

“It’s 4:42 now, actually–”

“And that you woke me up, not once, but twice–”

“I thought you wanted to look at my soulmark.”

Kuroo can feel his body literally begging him to just go back to sleep. But he also feels the exact moment he accepts the fact that this is all the sleep he’s getting tonight. He sits back up and noncommittally waves his hand. “Yeah, let’s see this thing.”

Kuroo braces himself. He’s seen plenty of soulmarks before, obviously, but they always belonged to people older than him. To the adults. This is the first time a close friend of Kuroo’s has gotten their soulmark. Kuroo has never even seen a new one up-close. The thought that Oikawa has his freaks him out, if he’s being honest. This means Kuroo is one step closer to his own.

He’s been 18 for almost a year now. Ever since November of last year, Kuroo has been on his toes, awaiting the day that it happens. He knows that a person usually gets their soulmark anywhere between the ages of 18 and 21, but he still couldn’t help the way that turning 18 put him on edge immediately. Or the way he constantly feels like he’s waiting for something. Oikawa turned 19 in July, which makes sense, now that Kuroo thinks about it. Studies have shown that the months right after you turn 19 are statistically the most common time for one to get their soulmark. Now that it’s October, and they’ve only been back in their dorm for about two weeks, Oikawa has his soulmark.

Kuroo never thought of Oikawa as one to be average, but he supposes that statistics are there for a reason.

Oikawa, now back on Kuroo’s bed, sticks his leg out and places his foot in Kuroo’s lap. “Can you see it?”

Kuroo blinks a few times, forcing his eyes to focus. The soulmark is a constellation; this is the least surprising thing about this morning. The stars are black, and they are in the shape of what looks like… a house. It looks like a house to Kuroo. Behind the house made of black stars, there is a teal and purple galaxy. At least that’s how Kuroo sees it. It looks like it’s been painted onto Oikawa’s skin – the lines undefined and beautiful. There’s a red ring around the mark and it makes it look like a brand new tattoo. Kuroo supposes that it kind of is, except nature etched it into Oikawa’s skin without his consent.

“Fuck, it’s beautiful.” Kuroo’s voice is soft, but he soon snaps out of the daze the mark has put him in and he smirks. “Is your soulmate a real-estate agent?”

“No, you moron. It’s _Cepheus_ , obviously.”

“Obviously.”

“I wonder if my soulmate has Cassiopeia to represent me. I don’t know if I should be offended or not.”

“It’s crazy that it’s a constellation; like really.”

“I know! I was honestly shocked. How does it _know?”_

“The one question the soulmate scientists can’t seem to answer.”

“Because it’s like…divine. Or supernatural. Or… _something._ ”

“Or maybe it’s extraterrestrial.” Kuroo moves his eyebrows suggestively.

“Hey, it probably is! Don’t question the aliens.”

“I’m not really sure why the aliens would want us to have one person we’re destined to be with for the rest of our lives.”

“Maybe they’re just romantics and they thought living without soulmates was a sad existence.”

“Maybe this is their version of a sick joke.”

Oikawa sighs and throws his body onto Kuroo’s bed. “You’re so cynical.”

“And you’re so dramatic.”

“I never denied that.”

The room is silent for a moment. The blue of an early morning is beginning to come through the dorm’s window. Kuroo allows the moment to wash over him. He’s only known Oikawa since April when they both started university. They were chosen as random roommates, but it has always been like this. The banter comes easy and the silences are comfortable. It helps that they’re both on the volleyball team; having something in common with a random roommate can really bridge the gap.

Kuroo feels the unique energy you can only get from sleep deprivation and he wonders how long it’ll take before he completely crashes. Practice is going to be hell.

Things come back into focus when Kuroo hears Oikawa’s quiet, steady breathing, and realizes that he’s somehow managed to fall asleep in the last five minutes.

Kuroo sighs dramatically and twists his ankle to lightly kick his foot against Oikawa’s side. “Wake the hell up. There is no way you’re going to sleep after waking me up.”

Of course, Oikawa doesn’t budge, and Kuroo doesn’t have the energy to kick him any harder. Kuroo sighs again and snuggles back into his pillow. He grabs his phone and sets the alarm for 7:00am and prays that sleeping an extra two hours won’t do more harm than good.

Stealing one last look at Oikawa’s brand new soulmark, Kuroo throws his extra blanket over the setter. “Have a good nap, you asshole.”

 

Coffee is the only thing that matters.

Well, coffee and Bokuto’s shoulder, which looks like it would make an excellent pillow right about now.

When Bokuto calls Kuroo over to where he is in line at the campus coffee shop, Kuroo doesn’t even greet him back. He simply makes his way over to the other boy and drops his head on his shoulder. He groans into Bokuto’s light blue t-shirt.

“You okay there, Tets?” Bokuto wraps his arm around Kuroo’s shoulder, pulling him closer. He’s squeezing a bit too hard, and maybe Kuroo can’t breathe, but he doesn’t protest.

“Boooo,” Kuroo groans again, “‘m so tired. Help meeee.”

“Yeah, you look it,” Bokuto laughs as Kuroo lifts his head, looking truly affronted.

“You’re fucking rude. I am _dead._ ”

“Oh, _Oikawa_? I thought that was you.”

“I fucking hate you.”

Bokuto laughs loudly, uncaring of the people standing around them in line, even as one jumps at the sound and stares at him wide-eyed. Kuroo runs his hand over his face, almost too tired to be embarrassed. He’s used to this behavior from Bokuto, anyway, and he feels a fond smile begin to tug at his lips against his permission.

He buries his face back into Bokuto’s shoulder to hide it.

“Just go sit down over in the corner. I’ll get your coffee.” Bokuto puts his arm back around Kuroo and rests his hand on his shoulder. Kuroo attempts to nod his head with his forehead still against Bokuto and barely makes an affirming noise in his throat, but he doesn’t make an effort to move.

“Come on, get up, Kuroo. Stop sleeping on me and go sit down.” Bokuto chuckles as he wedges his hand that’s not around Kuroo’s shoulder in between Kuroo’s cheek and his own shoulder and makes an effort to push Kuroo off of him.

Kuroo does not have the energy to have this fight and Bokuto knows it. Kuroo allows himself to be moved and is forced to look up at Bokuto. They’ve found themselves in quite the position. Bokuto’s left arm is still around Kuroo’s shoulders with the back of his right hand against Kuroo’s right cheek. They must look ridiculous.

Kuroo blinks a few times, assessing the situation. A smirk finds its way back onto his lips.

And before Kuroo can do anything else, it’s back. That laugh. Bokuto is laughing unabashedly; head thrown back and eyes crinkling in the corners. The fondness creeps back into Kuroo and he finds himself snickering as well.

When Bokuto finally catches his breath, he looks back at Kuroo and begins to move his hand away from his face and into a more comfortable position. He never takes his eyes off of Kuroo’s, a smaller, but genuinely happy and content smile now sitting on his lips.

Bokuto doesn’t say anything even as he pulls his arm from its position around Kuroo and Kuroo begins to squirm under the gaze. He removes himself from Bokuto completely and takes a small step away, beginning to feel something a lot like emotions he forced himself to suppress in high school. Something that he has almost completely allowed himself to forget.

“Here, take my card,” Kuroo says, pulling his wallet from his pocket.

“Nah, man. I got it.” Of course he does. “Go sit down.”

Kuroo begins to walk away but then turns around quickly. “I–”

“Caramel mocha latte, I know. Go.” Bokuto all but yells across to where Kuroo is standing, receiving more looks from people throughout the coffee shop.

Kuroo sighs in defeat and turns back around, his feet heavy as he walks to the group of chairs in the corner. He throws himself into one and is pretty sure he won’t be getting up anytime soon. Who needs class? Not Kuroo, certainly.

He has to stop himself from lulling to sleep multiple times while waiting for Bokuto. The coffee shop is ridiculous today with more people than Kuroo’s used to. It is Monday, though, so maybe that has something to do with it.

“So why are you so tired, bro?” Bokuto asks before he even sits down, snapping Kuroo out of yet another attempt of his body’s to fall asleep. “I mean, we really didn’t go that hard at all. You literally went to sleep at midnight.”

“I woke up at 4:30.”

“What the hell? Why?”

“I–” Kuroo sighs, considering his words. “Oikawa is a really loud person.”

“Shit, what happened? Was he, like, yelling? Did he mean to wake you up?”

“I didn’t realize this was an interrogation,” Kuroo deadpans and Bokuto twists his face at the sudden attack. “He just… yelled really loud and woke me up. And then he came into my room. He needed something.”

“At 4:30?”

“Yeah. It was important.”

“Oh.” Kuroo’s clipped tone and unwillingness to give information is enough for Bokuto. Despite what people may think of him, Bokuto is pretty perceptive. At least he always is when Kuroo needs him to be. Kuroo thinks this may just be a sign of their friendship. Though they have only been friends since their first year of high school training camp, it has always been easy for them to understand the other’s intentions and thoughts without having to ask. They’ve always fit well together like that. Kuroo figures that’s why they maintained such a close friendship even though they didn’t attend the same high school.

Kuroo wants to tell Bokuto about his morning, but he knows it isn’t his place. Oikawa will tell Bokuto about his soulmark when he’s ready. Not only does Kuroo respect Oikawa too much to do something like that, but it’s also common courtesy to never speak of someone else’s soulmark until they speak of it themselves. Kuroo was taught this at a young age and he has always taken it to heart.

“I don’t know how I’m going to make it through today. Practice is going to be hell.”

“Drink your coffee faster.”

“I don’t know if it works that way, Bo.”

“I don’t know, I think it might.” Bokuto takes a sip of his coffee and pulls a face.

“Not good?”

“No. I just thought I’d try it. It’s an espresso.”

“You idiot,” Kuroo says with a soft laugh. “That’s what I need, though, if we’re being honest.” He tilts his to-go cup toward his friend as if he’s toasting him. “Thank you for this, by the way.”

“Of course, Tets. You obviously fucking needed it.”

“You can say that again.”

“Of course, Tets. You obviously fucking needed it.”

Kuroo just stares, realizing that he should have expected that. “Worst.”

“Hey, are you going home the weekend after your birthday?”

“Uh, I think so. We have Monday off, right?”

Bokuto perks up. “Hey, hey, we gotta do something for your birthday the weekend before, then. Or we can like…do it during the week. If you’d be up for that. But I know you don’t like to party during the week, so. We could always do it back in Tokyo with Kaash and Kenman, too, but. It may be fun to have a university party for your birthday. Ishido already said he’d be down to host it.”

The words coming out of Bokuto’s mouth are almost too fast for Kuroo’s sleep-deprived brain to process, but he thinks he’s gotten the gist of Bokuto’s rambling.

“Damn, you’ve really put a lot of thought into this, haven’t you, Kou?”

“I mean, yeah...” Bokuto takes another sip of his coffee. “This is your first birthday at university! The first birthday where we’re at school together and not in Tokyo! It’s gotta be awesome, bro!”

“Your birthday was literally like two weeks ago and we barely did anything. Now I feel terrible. What the hell.” Kuroo has a headache, he realizes.

“No, man. Don’t! I had a blast on my birthday. You made arrangements for Akaashi to visit and remember the three of us and Oikawa played beer pong for like hours. That was an awesome birthday. Perfect, actually!”

“You’re so simple,” Kuroo says softly, smiling at the boy in front of him.

“I just love my friends, dude.”

Kuroo looks up at the ceiling as his small smile turns into a full-fledged grin.

“We can do whatever you want for my birthday.”

Bokuto cocks his head to the side, blinking his large, golden eyes. “Kuroo, that doesn’t make any sense. It’s _your_ birthday.”

“Surprise me.”

With that, against his better judgment, Kuroo stands up. He stumbles to the side, almost dropping his coffee, but Bokuto jumps up and catches his arm, steadying him.

“Thanks, man. Jesus. I need sleep.”

“I know, buddy. You can do it.”

“I don’t think I can.”

“You gotta, though. I believe in you.”

“Of course you do. You’re always there to support me when I can’t support myself.”

Bokuto snorts. “Is that from card you found at the dollar store?”

Kuroo puts his hand on his heart and scoffs. “Rude. I was being sincere.”

“Of course you were, Tets.”

“But really, though. I rely on your support. Will you carry me to class?”

“What was that? Sorry my phone is ringing. It’s distracting.” Bokuto pulls his phone from his pocket, smirking. “Oh, shit. It’s Mom. I gotta take this.” Bokuto puts the phone to his ear. “Hi Mama. Of course I’m being good. And yeah, I’m keeping Kuroo out of trouble.” He’s full on beaming at himself. He must really think he’s funny.

“Fucking _stop._ We’re going to be late for class if we don’t leave. You’re going to the science building, right?”

Bokuto pulls the phone away from his ear, still grinning to himself. “Ah, yeah, man.”

“Alright, cool. We’re going the same way. Walk with me?”

“You had me at we.”

“I – _What_?” Bokuto says a lot of stupid shit, but sometimes he just says things that make even Kuroo stare at him in disbelief.

Bokuto’s face tells Kuroo that he clearly knows how stupid he sounded. He begins laughing again, as loud as ever, and those crinkles around his eyes are back. He knocks his shoulder into Kuroo’s. “C’mon, Tets. Let’s get going.”

Kuroo looks at the moron as he walks away, not bothering to wait to see if Kuroo is going to follow him. Kuroo just sighs and follows behind slowly. He bites his lip in an attempt to remove the fond smile that just won’t seem to go away today as he wills his feet to get him to the other side of campus in one piece.

 

 **gremlin:** Yamamoto just convinced Lev that Lev and Yaku are soulmates

 **gremlin:** Lev has been crying for like a half hour

 **Me:** lmao what

 **Me:** kenma im cryign are you serious

 **Me:** how did he manage to do that wht did he tell him im

 **gremlin:** Well Lev’s an idiot so.

 **Me:** dont be so rude to the child jfc ken

 **gremlin:** It’s a fact Kuro.

 **gremlin:** Anyway, basically Yamamoto told Lev that he had senses for these things

 **gremlin:** That he’s like a soulmate psychic

 **gremlin:** And that he predicts soulmates all the time

 **Me:** lmaooooo and he believed him ?

 **gremlin:** Yeah

 **gremlin:** Yeah. He did.

 **Me:** i think the funniest part of this entire story is that lev is crying over the fact that yaku is his soulmate

 **Me:** like

 **Me:** why is this so funny to me

 **gremlin:** Ah that reminds me.

 **gremlin:** Lev asked him to give other predictions he’s made so he said you and I are soulmates

 **Me:** akljgadkgjavdkg ahahah

 **Me:** kozume kenma

 **Me:** my soulmate

 **Me:** <3333

 **gremlin:** That’s fucking disgusting Kuro

 **Me:** first off

 **Me:** rude af

 **Me:** second

 **Me:** ur disgstuing

 **Me:** third

 **gremlin:** I hate you.

 **Me:** would it really be that bad to be my soulmate lmao

 **gremlin:** I didn’t realize you were this passionate about being my soulmate

 **gremlin:** I don’t think we’re at the same level affection here.

 **Me:** lmao kenman i love u

 **gremlin:** Stop it you’re gross

 **gremlin:** You don’t really want to be my soulmate right?

 **Me:** lmao you’ll never know

 **Me:** but really tho no ofc not u dork thats gross af i just like making you yell at me

 **gremlin:** No one was yelling

 **Me:** wouldn’t it be funny tho

 **gremlin:** No

 **Me:** but imagine

 **Gremlin:** No

 **Me:** but

 **gremlin:** No.

 **gremlin:** And statistically, anyway, there’s only like a 40% chance of your SM being someone you already know

 **Me:** which makes no fucking sense if you ask me but

 **Me:** cant argue with science

 **Me:** but STATISTICALLY

 **Me:** if you want to talk statistics

 **Me:** if your sm does turn out to be someone you know then there’s about 89% chance that that person is gonna be one of your best friends or at least a close person in ur life

 **Me:** so

 **gremlin:** Kuro

 **gremin:** We’re not soulmates

 **gremlin:** I promise.

 **gremlin:** And anyway. You have more than one best friend.

 **Me:** wtf

 **Me:** kenma what the fukc does that even mean

 **Me:** kenma

 **gremlin:** Don’t you have practice?

 **Me:** fuck off

 **gremlin:** Go practice Kuro.

Kuroo sighs in defeat and sets his phone face down on the gym floor. If his brain was working correctly today, he’d maybe try to make sense of what Kenma just said, but right now, he’s just focusing on not making his headache worse. He’s not sure he wants to think about what Kenma was suggesting, anyway, especially if he was going where Kuroo fears he was.

“You know, I can’t help but feel like I’m doin’ all the work here.”

Jolting from his thoughts, Kuroo is brought back into reality by Bokuto’s voice. He then remembers what’s actually going on around him as he feels a painful stretch in his side.

Kuroo is sitting on the gym floor, legs stretched apart, with Bokuto leaning the majority of his weight on him. Bokuto has his forearms placed on Kuroo’s back to make sure he’s pushing him down into a stretch.

“Do you really think this doesn’t hurt at all?” Kuroo actually does feel bad for completely cutting Bokuto out for a minute there, but he just loves to give him a hard time.

Bokuto immediately removes himself from his position, standing up straight. “Fuck, was I really hurting you, Tets?”

“What?” Kuroo is taken a little off guard by the other boy’s tone, but reacts without delay, already recognizing the familiar behavior. “Bo, no, I’m fine. It’s fine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me if I was pushing too hard or whatever?” Bokuto’s voice is a little higher than usual and Kuroo hates how sharp it is in his ears.

“Listen, it’s a stretch, and it’s supposed to hurt. It’s literally fine. I was just fucking with you. I appreciate you helping me stretch. Honest.”

While Bokuto can be the most confident person in the world as well as one of the most generous and loving people, he just as quickly reacts negatively to his mistakes and doesn’t give himself any slack. He feels guilt so easily. Kuroo hates it because Bokuto is one of the kindest people he’s ever met and he shouldn’t be so hard on himself. He always finds himself reassuring Bokuto that he didn’t do anything wrong, that everything is fine, that of course he still wants to hang out with him. Bokuto is confident, yes, but he needs a lot of reassurance or he begins to doubt himself. And his anxiety will get the best of him.

Kuroo would dedicate his entire life to making sure he never saw this look on Bokuto’s face again.

“Well, if you say so,” Bokuto finally sighs after a moment of assessing Kuroo’s words for validity.

Unsatisfied with that answer, Kuroo continues to stretch, biting his lip. He eventually looks around the gym, narrowing his eyes.

“Yeah, it’s really odd Oikawa’s not here yet. He’s always like the first one in the gym.”

Kuroo looks up at Bokuto, only a little surprised by how quickly he read his thoughts. “Maybe he just passed out somewhere.”

“He would never miss practice though, dude. Remember when he came in here with like a hospital-worthy fever and you had to literally drag him back to your dorm because he wouldn't leave?”

Kuroo chuckles, the memory of that day coming back to him. “Yeah, but I’m saying maybe his body just shut down and he fell asleep like in a weird place and is going to accidentally miss practice.”

It crosses Kuroo’s mind that Oikawa may be uncertain about coming to practice today, given recent events. While getting your soulmark is considered an excuse to miss things such as class or work, Kuroo just doesn’t buy the fact that Oikawa would let it make him miss practice. He’d come in here in a full-body suit before he let that happen.

“Let’s be real, if that happened, I’m pretty sure his body would just come to the gym subconsciously.”

Kuroo starts laughing louder than he expects himself to as he imagines a sleeping Oikawa floating across campus and into the gym. He sees the setter with his eyes closed and a mop of bed-hair as he performs a signature jump serve and still manages to score a service ace on the other side of the net.

“I think you’re one-hundred-percent right, Bo.”

Just then, of course, the gym door flies open and in walks the Grand King himself.

“It’s so nice of you to join us, Tooru!” Kuroo calls from across the gym. He’s still not completely over this morning and figures if he’s going to be given the opportunity to give Oikawa shit, he should probably take it.

“Not as nice as it is to hear your lovely voice, Tetsurou-chan.” Oikawa’s voice is mock-sweet, and it causes Kuroo’s mouth to twist in a matching faux-disgust as he forces himself off the gym floor, picking his phone up in the process.

Since Oikawa has Monday afternoons open, he always comes to practice ready to go and doesn’t require use of the locker room. Today, he is dressed as normal as ever. A loose practice tank top with a matching pair of shorts that end in the middle of his thigh.

 _Of course_ , Kuroo thinks, _of course he isn’t going to hide it. He probably didn’t even consider it._

When would Oikawa Tooru pass up an opportunity to be the center of attention?

Kuroo smirks to himself at this thought, just because he enjoys poking fun at his roommate. He doesn’t actually think there’s anything wrong with immediately showing off your soulmark, of course. He just realizes that he was an idiot to think that Oikawa wouldn’t take the first chance he could to bring attention to his newest feature.

Oikawa struts toward where Kuroo and Bokuto are standing and Kuroo hears a low whistle behind him. He turns around to see Ishido standing there, lips turned up in a sly smirk and eyebrows raised at the approaching setter.

Ishido then shifts his eyes to meet Kuroo’s gaze and lifts his eyebrows again, quick and suggestive as always. Kuroo cocks one of his own eyebrows and tilts his head to the side in what he hopes comes off as a taunting manner.

Smirk turning into a full-blown grin, Ishido turns back to Oikawa. As he passes Kuroo, his hand swings down to slap Kuroo’s ass, and Kuroo only jumps a little bit, mostly expecting it. Kuroo rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he watches Ishida walk toward Oikawa, but there’s still a playful smirk on his lips.

Ishido Seiji is a wing spiker on their volleyball team. He’s a year older than Kuroo, Bokuto, and Oikawa, but he seems to prefer hanging out with them if given the choice. The thing about Ishido is that he enjoys himself; and he’ll sleep with anyone he’s attracted to if they’re into it. Kuroo remembers the first day they really hung out. The way he explained himself.

_“Well I’m going to have a soulmate one day, and I’m going to love them and only them from that day on. I think soulmates are great, and I can’t wait to meet mine, but I think it’s stupid to live the beginning of your life just waiting for them to show up. You might as well enjoy yourself before you meet them. Especially because experiences help you figure out who you are. I don’t know about you, but I want to understand myself before I bring the love of my life into my world. And anyway, I want to get the sex experience, too. I want to be able to woo my soulmate when I meet them. I want to be the best they ever had. And not just because I’m supposed to be.”_

If he’s being honest, Kuroo genuinely admires this. For someone who comes off to most as a fuckboy who only parties and plays volleyball, Ishido is very well spoken and has developed and thought-out ideas. Kuroo is honestly glad he met him. Bokuto is closer to him, though, and Kuroo has never found that particularly surprising.

Ishido wants to fuck Kuroo. Kuroo knows this. Everyone knows this. He’s on his _list_ , if that’s what you want to call it. Kuroo has considered it many times, but he’s never gotten around to actually going for it. All of their interactions are laced with flirting, and Kuroo knows he doesn’t do anything to diminish Ishido’s sexual attraction to him, but he enjoys it too much to stop. Their relationship is _unique_ and Kuroo knows that if he and Ishido did decide to break their sexual tension, Ishido would still be his friend in the morning.

“Well howdy there, King. How are you on this lovely afternoon?”

Oikawa stares down Ishido for a couple seconds and then crosses his arms, jutting out his hip. “I’m great, Sei-chan. And how are _you?_ ”

“Better _now_.”

The purr in Ishido’s voice causes Kuroo to run his hand down his face and sigh. Oikawa literally just got his soulmark, and it’s staring them all in the face, but leave it to Ishido Seiji to flirt with him anyway. Not to mention Kuroo knows that these two have fucked before. At least once. Even though they’ve never admitted it.

“Cute,” Oikawa deadpans, and Kuroo can tell he’s as exhausted as Kuroo feels. “Shouldn’t we be starting practice?”

“Well we were waiting for you, your majesty.”

Oikawa licks his bottom lip. Kuroo can tell that he’s irritated. He wants them to talk about his soulmark, it’s obvious. But no one is willing to bring it up. And even Oikawa is trying to figure out how to tactfully slip it into the conversation.

Everyone begins to walk to their side of the gym so that their captain can lay out what they’ll be doing in practice today.

Bokuto leans over and whispers, “I fucking _knew_ it,” and Kuroo playfully elbows him in the side.

“I basically gave it away for you.”

Before Bokuto can retaliate, the entire team is standing in the vicinity and their captain, Takeshi Hideo, is clearing his throat to speak. But he ends up sighing instead, realizing that no one is paying attention to him. He then turns to Oikawa, his mouth in a thin line.

“Would you like to share anything with the class?”

Kuroo raises his eyebrows, shocked by the blunt question.

Even Oikawa looks taken aback, but he plasters on one of his signature smiles and cocks his head to the side. “Oh, me? Well as you can see, I got my soulmark. That’s all.”

“Yeah, no shit you got your soulmark,” another player on their team laughs.

“Let’s not let it affect practice, okay? We really need to be ready for the match on Saturday.”

“Calm down, princess. Do you really think we’d let you distract us?” Kuroo calls out and Bokuto snorts beside him.

“I know I would,” Ishido decides to contribute. “It looks sexy as fuck.”

 

Kuroo cannot believe that he agreed to Bokuto coming over.

He is just so. Fucking. Tired. Oikawa is too, practice almost murdering the both of them in cold blood. It’s Monday night, and Kuroo feels like he could literally die of exhaustion, but here they are. Bokuto, Oikawa, and himself sitting on the futon in Kuroo and Oikawa’s dorm that is way too small for three people. They picked up a pizza on the way back, but Kuroo can honestly say that he doesn’t even remember the walk home. He’s nursing a Mountain Dew in one hand and a paper plate in the other. He doesn’t really think Mountain Dew is enough to save him, though.

“Dufe, yor ’oul’ark if fick,” Bokuto exclaims around a bite of pizza. He, unlike Kuroo, didn’t see the need for any paper plates, and is just allowing crumbs to fall all over the other two’s dorm. Kuroo huffs quietly, but doesn’t say anything.

“Awe, thanks, Kou-chan.” Oikawa sounds a little embarrassed, which Kuroo finds off-putting. But thinking about it – soulmarks are very personal, as well as intimate, and having to discuss your own may be enough to make even Oikawa go red in the face. Especially when it’s as new as his is.

“I’m so jealous, man.”

Oikawa smiles knowingly. “Don’t be. You’ll get yours soon enough.”

Kuroo gives Bokuto a soft smile as well and nods his head reassuringly. He doesn’t have the energy to speak, but he still wants to show Bokuto that he cares.

Bokuto has always been obsessed with soulmates – more so than the usual person. His parents didn’t meet until they were 29, which is unusual for soulmates, but for the ten years that they had their soulmarks, they crossed paths unknowingly over and over and over.

 _“I just think that’s beautiful, Tets,”_ Bokuto had said to him, _“they were destined to be together and fate did everything in its power to make it happen. Even when the world was doing everything to stop it.”_

Kuroo remembers the moment fondly. They were in their second year of high school, laying on the floor of an empty classroom one night during training camp. Kuroo learned so much about him that night. He can still remember how he felt, staring at this beam of sunshine in the dark room, watching him as he spoke about everything and anything, with passion for all of it.

That’s why he knows how much having a soulmate means to Bokuto. And while Bokuto has  expressed a genuine fear of never getting his soulmark, Kuroo has always done everything to reassure him that that won’t happen. Bokuto deserves the kind of love that people dream about. And Kuroo knows that it’s out there waiting for him. The universe would never disappoint its greatest creation.

Kuroo groans out loud at his own thoughts. Only now realizing just how much he’s allowed his decaying mind to wander and how out of hand his thoughts have gotten. He really just needs to fucking go to bed.

Neither of the other two boys bother to ask about the sound Kuroo had made; he’s been complaining all day and they already know how tired he is, so they figure it’s just that. They continue to talk about Oikawa’s soulmark, basically pretending that Kuroo doesn’t exist.

He kind of prefers it this way, though. At least right now. He doesn’t think he has the mental capacity to deal with these two at the same time.

Kuroo allows himself to zone out, his brain too clouded to really let any more concerning thoughts in. He feels like he’s on drugs. He doesn't know what drugs, but definitely something mind altering.

The loudest thing Kuroo has ever heard pulls him back to the surface of whatever he was allowing himself to drown in. Kuroo puts his hands over his eyes and basically _whines_.

“Why is your phone turned up so fucking loud? When will you let me _be._ ” Kuroo is being a child and he knows it, but his current state is Oikawa’s fault, anyway.

The look on Oikawa’s face causes all complaints to leave his mind. The setter looks...scared? Honestly afraid of something and a little pale. He looks at the _still-ringing_ phone for a moment, his horror-stricken eyes suddenly falling into a flat, emotionless stare. He lets out what Kuroo perceives as a sigh and swipes his thumb across the screen, putting the phone to his ear.

“Iwa-chan!”

His voice sounds as perky as ever and Kuroo cringes at the fakeness of it. He knows Iwaizumi will be able to see through it immediately, and Oikawa must, too. Kuroo steals a look at Bokuto, who is already looking at him with question in his eyes. Kuroo just shrugs and looks back to Oikawa.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine! I just got home from practice and I’m eating pizza with Tetsu-chan and Kou-chan. Oh yeah, I will!” Oikawa pulls his phone away from his mouth, “Iwa-chan says hi!”

“Hi, Iwaizumi,” Kuroo and Bokuto say in unison, trying their best to sound anything but as confused as they feel. At least that’s how it’s going for Kuroo, and if Bokuto’s face is anything to go by, then he’s about the same.

“No, today was pretty boring, actually. I’m just really tired. I woke up really early.”

Kuroo leans forward, assessing Oikawa. He flicks his eyes back up to meet Bokuto’s.

“What about you, Iwa-chan? Anything exciting happen over there?” Oikawa pauses and Kuroo can tell he’s holding his breath. Kuroo is too, but he’s not sure why.

“No?” Oikawa’s voice breaks just barely, but he composes himself immediately. “How lame are you, Iwa-chan?” Who says I’m acting weird? I’m _not_. I’m just really tired. Yeah, you’re right, I should go to sleep. I think I’ll do that. Goodnight, Iwa-chan. Always nice to talk to you.”

Oikawa ends the call with a shaky hand and sets his phone down on the table, slowly releasing a heavy breath.

The silence the follows carries on for at least five minutes, and Kuroo is honestly irritated. He could be sleeping right now. What the hell is this idiot up to?

Finally, _finally_ , Bokuto breaks the silence. “Uh, dude.” Very profound, as always.

Kuroo deflates at Bokuto’s unhelpful words. Oikawa then returns a venomous _“What?”_ and Kuroo finds himself accepting the fact that he’s just going to have to deal with this.

“Uhm. What the fuck was _that?”_

Oikawa becomes suddenly very interested in a grabbing another piece of pizza. “I’m gonna need you to be more specific, Tetsu-chan.”

Kuroo blinks multiple times in succession, trying to process his roommate’s answer. He does not have the patience to deal with this right now.

He looks back at Bokuto who looks honestly pained by the situation. Kuroo runs his hand over his face for what feels like the millionth time today and then meets Oikawa’s eyes and sighs.

“Fine,” he says, voice clipped, and stands up to throw away his plate, “we don’t have to talk about this right now. But we’re going to have to eventually. I think for now, we should all just go to bed. It’s been a long day for you and me, at least.”

Kuroo can’t believe that he’s even capable of being this mature right now, but even though he knows that Oikawa has to face this eventually, he also knows that right now isn’t the time. Oikawa needs a little space and time to clear his head and figure out completely why he made what seemed to be a split decision to lie to his best friend about his soulmark. While Kuroo is pretty sure he knows what’s going on, and he’s sure Oikawa does too, he still thinks Oikawa needs to take a second to breathe and think through it all. Kuroo is willing to give him the time he needs. For now.

“Well, okay, _Mom_.” Oikawa stands up and joins Kuroo next to the garbage can.

“I mean, or we can talk about it right now. Whatever you want.”

“I’m gonna go get ready for bed.”

Kuroo and Bokuto laugh softly as Oikawa walks toward his drawers underneath his bed, pulling out his pajamas for the night and tactfully ignoring Kuroo’s words. Once the setter is out of the room, Bokuto loses the control that Kuroo is sure was taking all of his willpower to maintain.

“What the _hell,_ Kuroo? How could he just _do that?”_

“Hey, don’t yell at me for it.”

“I just don’t _get it._ He’s his _best friend._ ” Bokuto is flailing his arms from where he still sits on the futon.

“I think it’s a bit more complicated than that, Bo.”

Bokuto cocks his head to the side and blinks his eyes slowly at Kuroo. He then runs his bottom lip through his teeth. “Do you think… Oikawa was hoping that Iwaizumi would tell him that he got his soulmark, too?”

“I’d be willing to bet money on it, yeah.”

Bokuto sighs, sounding slightly dejected. “I just… He really shouldn’t keep this from him.”

“I know. But that’s not our decision to make. He’ll tell him when he’s ready.”

“Yeah, or it’ll blow up in his face.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s what’s gonna happen. Oikawa has a tendency to create these situations for himself.”

“Hey, Tets?” Bokuto’s voice causes Kuroo to look up in surprise and meet his eyes, the moon through the window reflecting off the gold.

“Yeah, Bo?”

“Just promise me… You’ll tell me when you get yours. I plan on telling you, I mean. You and Akaashi. Immediately, you know? We’re best buds and it would feel wrong not telling you. Like I’d be keeping a piece of myself from you.”

Kuroo doesn’t really see any reason why they _wouldn’t_ tell each other. But he knows how much soulmates mean to Bokuto, and he can tell just how important this is to him right now.

He gives him a small, but genuine smile. “Of course, Bo.”

“Promise?”

“ _Yes_.” Kuroo laughs the word out. “Why wouldn’t I tell you?”

“Good. Then it’s a deal.”

“I mean, I guess. I thought it went without saying, but sure. It’s a deal.”

“You’re the best, Tets.”

“And you’re a dork.” Bokuto just gives him a toothy smile. “Are you staying here?”

“Nah, I think I’m gonna go back to my dorm. That futon is rough on my back.”

“Damn, I’m sorry man.”

“No, don’t worry about it. I’ve got an early class tomorrow anyway.”

“Oh, that’s right. RIP you.”

“So supportive.”

“Yeah, yeah, just let me know when you get home.”

“Awe, Kuroo, you do care.”

“Nevermind, I hope the wolves get you.”

“ _Wolves,_ Tets?” Bokuto is laughing louder than is appropriate for the current hour.

“Fuck off. I need sleep.”

“Really? I wasn’t aware.”

“Literally leave.”

“Oh, you’re kicking me out now?”

“Yes. Bye.”

Bokuto is still chuckling, but making his way toward the door. “‘Night, Kuroo. Tell Oikawa I said goodnight. Sleep tight.”

“Oh, I fucking will.”

* * *

 

Kuroo isn’t really sure what 19 is supposed to feel like.

If it’s a loud, consistent beat in his ears, a burn in his throat, and a warm feeling in his chest, mixed with a slight hint of vertigo, he thinks that he could get used to it.

He’s pretty grateful for Ishido and his apartment, looking around the room. There are way too many people here to fit in his and Oikawa’s dorm. He wonders if he even knows them all. He figures between Bokuto, Oikawa, and Ishido, probably not. Kuroo is glad they’re all here, regardless.

“I love you guys, you know that?” Kuroo can hear how his words slur, and he wishes they wouldn’t, but he knows it’s too late now. He puts an arm around Bokuto’s shoulder and rocks into his side, his drink sloshing out of the red cup in his hand.

“You fuckin’ better! Look at this party!” Kuroo knows that Bokuto is a little on the wrong side of tipsy as well and he finds himself grinning at him.

“I know, man! Look at this _fucking_ party! And it’s _all for me_! I don’t deserve you guys!”

Against his better judgment, Kuroo attempts to put his left arm around Ishido, even though he’s holding his drink. He manages to not spill anything on him, but it’s a close call. He doesn’t think Ishido would have minded too much, though.

“Dude, we’d do anything for you, you know that.” Ishido slips his arm around Kuroo’s waist.

“That’s true, buddy. I’d throw one of these for you every weekend if I could.” Bokuto sounds so happy and genuine and it’s enough to make Kuroo think that he’d let him.

Kuroo doesn’t know what to say, though, so he doesn’t say anything. The three of them stand without speaking for a long time, connected by limbs and observing the party around them. The moment is surprisingly peaceful, given the chaos, and Kuroo is just _so grateful._ He really does love these people.

The moment is broken when the roar of the party turns into full-blown cheering and chanting. Kuroo darts his eyes around the room, the picture slowly coming into focus, and eventually finds the source of the noise. There’s a circle of people, and in the middle of the circle, of course, is a dancing Oikawa on top of one of Ishido’s end tables.

Bokuto is laughing so loud that he’s snorting and Ishido has already joined in on the cheers, removing himself from Kuroo to get closer to the show.

“I don’t think the table is big enough,” Bokuto barely gets out, still laughing at the sight.

That’s definitely true. Oikawa is standing in one place, since he literally can’t move his feet anywhere else due to the size of the table. He’s swaying his hips, _extremely_ provocatively, though, to make up for it, with both hands in the air, and one holding a drink.

“He’s going to fucking fall.” Kuroo feels his buzz slipping away and he hates it.

“Relax, Kuroo. Enjoy your party. Oikawa sure is.” He just groans as Bokuto pulls him toward the scene. He doesn’t really think they should be encouraging him right now.

Oikawa has been _gone_ for the entire party; probably before the party. Kuroo doesn’t even think he saw him sober today. The setter obviously saw the event as an excuse to lose himself, which isn’t too surprising, if Kuroo is being honest.

It’s been over a month since Oikawa got his soulmark. _A month._ A month since he lied to Iwaizumi over the phone through broken words and with shaking hands. A month since Kuroo told Oikawa that they were going to have to talk about it eventually.

They still haven’t talked about it.

Kuroo has _tried_ , he really has, but Oikawa just isn’t having it. Not only is he just completely avoiding having too much alone time with Kuroo, but he’s also throwing himself into everything at 200%.. Hours of extra volleyball practice; study groups for every single class (that he took upon himself to create); club meetings for clubs that Kuroo is pretty sure he wasn’t even a part of until this semester; working out at the school gym at odd and extended hours that can’t be healthy. Oikawa even got an on-campus job with the excuse, “ _It builds morale, Tetsu-chan_.” Kuroo wonders how he even has time to sleep. And he fears that maybe he doesn’t.

And the weekends are the most concerning part.

Kuroo knows that they’re in university and that they all party quite a bit, especially on the weekends, but Oikawa spends Friday nights out, Kuroo not even seeing him until practice the next day. Then, Oikawa comes to practice hungover, but still giving it his all, which must be killing him, and then spends the rest of Saturday and goes until Sunday afternoon in a drunken haze, usually never coming back to the dorm for any of it. Kuroo goes days and days without seeing him. He’s just glad that they’re going to start having games soon and Oikawa won’t be able to pull this shit anymore.

He needs to help him, though, and he knows it. But Oikawa isn’t exactly a cooperative person, and the only one who Kuroo knows who is equipped to deal with Oikawa is miles away. Not to mention, Oikawa will barely hold a conversation with him, always making excuses to get off the phone or staying busy enough to avoid video chatting. Kuroo can tell even from the outside that Iwaizumi is getting frustrated with the situation. It’s so obvious that something’s up with Oikawa, and if he thinks that Iwaizumi hasn’t noticed, then he’s honestly an idiot. Kuroo thinks that maybe he wants him to notice, though. Typical Oikawa.

“Tetsu-chan! Dance with me!” Kuroo is broken from his thoughts by Oikawa’s voice. He looks up to an outstretched hand and a half-lidded Oikawa.

“Not on the table. _Hell no_. We’ll never fit. Get off the table and then I’ll dance with you.”

“You’re always such a buzz-kill,” Oikawa whines, but attempts to step off the table nonetheless. He’s a bit wobbly, and Kuroo is genuinely afraid that he’s going to fall, but Ishido and another guy that Kuroo doesn’t know steady him and help him down.

As soon as Oikawa’s feet are on the ground, he’s making his way toward Kuroo. He grabs his hand and pulls him to where a group of people are dancing.

They’re closer to the speaker now, so the music is louder. It hurts Kuroo’s ears, but he appreciates the way the bass vibrates through his body and into his chest. He sets his drink down on a table off to side and begins dancing with Oikawa, who didn’t opt to discard his. Every thirty seconds of dancing or so, Oikawa takes another sip of his beverage and Kuroo wants to tell him to stop, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just dances with his roommate, trying his best to forget everything and enjoy his birthday.

Oikawa has Kuroo’s hips pulled close to his, smirking at him suggestively. Kuroo plays along and grinds along to the music. There’s nothing to this, Kuroo knows that; they’ve done this plenty of times before. Kuroo still worries, given Oikawa’s current and ongoing state.

He dances with the setter for what he thinks is a few more minutes before he decides that he’s getting entirely too handsy. Kuroo doesn’t blame Oikawa; it’s clear that he’s too far gone to be making any rational decisions. He’s bracing himself for Oikawa’s reaction to him putting space between them when a hand lands on his shoulder, saving him.

Kuroo looks around to see Bokuto to his left and Ishido to his right. He smiles at Bokuto, thankful, and he nods back knowingly.

“You two look cozy,” Ishido says from Kuroo’s other side.

Kuroo takes that as his cue to pull away, ignoring Oikawa’s slight whine at the lack of contact. “Don’t even _think_ about it, man.”

“What, no threesome? You really are no fun, Kuroo.”

Bokuto chokes on his beer, cup still to his lips. The sight is funnier than it probably should be as liquid runs down Bokuto’s chin and neck. Kuroo finds himself laughing before he can control himself.

“Awe, we can make it a foursome, Bo. I didn’t mean to leave you out.”

Bokuto’s face turns redder than Kuroo would have expected, especially since he’s been drinking. He gives him a soft smile and what he hopes is a comforting nudge.

“At that point, wouldn’t it just be called an orgy?” Oikawa slurs from his position across from Kuroo.

Ishido laughs loudly at that and moves closer to the inebriated setter. “Oh, Oikawa, I knew I liked you.” Kuroo is about to say something to Ishido about trying to get in Oikawa’s pants in this state when Ishido looks at him. “We should all dance, yeah?”

Kuroo mentally slaps himself for thinking so low of Ishido and agrees with a small smile and a nod.

Once they begin dancing in their small circle, Kuroo turns slightly to Bokuto, realizing that he still hasn’t said anything. “You alright there, buddy?”

“Yeah, man. I think the alcohol is just making me sleepy.”

Kuroo doesn’t buy it. “Yeah? Since when? Is this a new development?”

“Fuck off.”

“If Ishido ever makes you uncomfortable, just tell him and he’ll stop. He’s mostly harmless.”

“Yeah, _mostly_ ,” Bokuto bites back and Kuroo can’t wrap his head around the tone. Bokuto and Ishido have always been great friends and Kuroo can’t really understand where this bitterness is coming from.

Before Kuroo can respond, his train of thought is cut off by Oikawa’s loud, slurring voice. “It hurt _so bad_ , it was like I was being _stabbed_. And Tetsu-chan didn’t even wake up to save me.”

Kuroo is shocked that Ishido has gotten Oikawa to talk about his soulmark at all, but then again, he _is_ drunk, and it’s probably beginning to really eat at him.

“I thought you said it _burnt_ ,” Kuroo calls over to him.

“Semamtics.” Oikawa puts his cup to his lips and Kuroo wonders how there could possibly still be anything left in it.

“I really don’t think that’s how you say that word. I also don’t think you’re using it right.”

“ _Kuroo_ , aren’t you drunk? What the _hell_? Stop being such a downer. This is _your_ birthday, anyway.”

“I’m enjoying myself. I enjoy giving you shit.”

“Does it really hurt that bad?” Kuroo looks over to Bokuto. There is a child-like curiosity mixed with fear in his eyes.

“It _did_ , Kou-chan! I was _screaming_.”

“You’re also a dramatic hoe.”

“Shut the fuck _up_ , Kuroo–”

“But did it hurt for like a long time?”

“Well I fell back asleep,” Oikawa starts giggling at that, “and then when I woke up it was just a dull burn. I think. That whole day is a blur. Kind of like right now.”

Kuroo sighs and tries to keep swaying to the music just as Ishido asks, “Okay, but how does it _feel_ , like, emotionally? What does it feel like to have your soulmark? Like, I’ve heard what it’s _supposed_ to feel like, but no one I’ve been really close to has got theirs before.”

Oikawa blinks a few times and Kuroo thinks that he might just be a little too drunk for that question. Kuroo also can’t believe that Ishido had the audacity to ask that question.

“I’d like to know, too. If you don’t mind,” Bokuto says timidly, but then Kuroo sees a change in his eyes as the topic excites him immediately. “I mean, do you feel like connected to them even though you haven’t met? Do you feel all romantic, now? I’ve heard people say they feel more complete than they did before, and–”

Kuroo puts his hand on Bokuto’s shoulder and he stops speaking. Oikawa seems to have sobered somehow, even though Kuroo knows that’s not possible. His eyes have narrowed and are void of emotion and Kuroo finds himself pinching his nose.

“You know, I heard that too,” Oikawa starts, voice flat, “but no, it doesn’t feel like that. At least not for me. It feels…” Oikawa waves his free hand, “it feels… it feels like the opposite, actually.”

“What do you mean?” Bokuto and Ishido ask in unison.

“I don’t feel ‘more complete,’ or ‘romantic,’” Oikawa literally uses air-quotes, “I just feel empty. Like… My soulmate is out there but I’m not with them. I actually feel incomplete, if I’m being honest.”

“Well that’s depressing,” Ishido says. _Always so tactful._

Oikawa holds his cup high above his face and shakes it to get the last of his drink out and into his mouth. He then hums. “I need to get another drink. I’ll be back. Probably. Maybe.”

Oikawa leaves the circle before anyone can stop him and Kuroo runs a hand through his hair. “Someone should probably go with him.”

“I’ve got it,” Ishido doesn’t miss a beat, “you just enjoy your birthday, Kuroo.”

“My hero,” Kuroo jokes, but he mostly feels tired and heavy with alcohol.

“Don’t forget it.” With that, Ishido is gone, leaving Kuroo and Bokuto alone with a beat that they forgot was playing.

Kuroo looks at Bokuto and sighs, leaning his forehead on his shoulder. “He really shouldn’t drink anymore.”

“Hey,” Bokuto says and Kuroo can barely hear it over the music. He grabs Kuroo’s shoulders and shrugs his own, forcing Kuroo to lift his head back up and meet his eyes. “Hey, we’ll talk to him after this weekend, okay? I know you’re worried about him–”

“Of _course_ I’m worried about him,” Kuroo groans.

“Just _listen to m_ e, Tets,” his voice is somehow stern and soft at the same time and Kuroo isn’t used to the tone on Bokuto’s lips. “Oikawa’s parents are making him go home this weekend. We’ll all just go home this weekend, and maybe Oikawa will talk to Iwaizumi while he’s there. And we’ll talk to him when we get back to campus, okay? Just a few more days.”

“What if going home makes it worse and then we _can’t_ help him.”

“The only thing that’s going to help him is talking to Iwaizumi. You know that.”

“I hope he makes it that long.”

Bokuto offers a toothy grin. “He will. He’s strong. I have faith in him.”

“You know, I think he’d appreciate you saying that, Kou.”

“Yeah?” His eyes are shining and Kuroo can’t help but stare at them. “Good, because I mean it.”

Bokuto grabs Kuroo’s waist and begins swaying to the music. It’s a little fast paced for how Kuroo’s feeling, but after a minute-or-so of Bokuto egging him on, Kuroo finds himself getting into it. He wraps his arms around Bokuto’s neck and allows himself to get lost in the music. There isn’t anything else but the beat vibrating through his chest and Bokuto’s hands on his hips.

Kuroo’s heart feels light in his chest and he realizes that he’s almost completely sober now, but he finds that he doesn’t mind. Bokuto’s presence is enough to make him feel silly with happiness.

Kuroo leans in close. “Thank you so much for all of this, Bo. It means the world to me,” he whispers directly into Bokuto's ear, and then buries his face into his neck.

But then Bokuto is pulling away, leaving Kuroo’s head to lull forward. He groans and looks up, feeling betrayed. The look in Bokuto’s eyes makes him go soft again in a matter of seconds, though.

“Of course, Tets. I already told you I’d do this for you every weekend if I could. I meant that.”

He feels exposed somehow, but Kuroo doesn’t break Bokuto’s eye contact. “You’re such a better friend than I deserve.”

“Nah, man–”

“I don’t know what I would have done if I had to come here without you. I would have been lost.”

“Oh, c’mon. You still would have met Oikawa. And Ishido. You would have been fine.”

“ _No_ ,” Kuroo says with as much conviction as he can muster as he pushes at Bokuto’s chest with his palm. “It wouldn’t be the _same_ , Bo. Neither of them would have done all of _this_ for me without you prompting them. And they don’t _get_ me like you do. And honestly, I was really nervous about coming here, but when I found out you got accepted here too, it was like the best day of my life.”

“Jesus, Tets, I thought you sobered up.”

“You _shit,_ I’m trying to be sincere.”

“I know,” Bokuto drags out the word, “and I feel the same way. University is definitely better with you.”

“Well you don’t have anything to compare it to.”

“And I don’t want to take any chances.”

Kuroo feels warmth flare in his chest and he suddenly wishes that he had another drink. Silence falls between them as the music once again takes over. The two continue to sway together, just enjoying the moment, savouring it. Everything feels a lot more peaceful than it has since the semester started, and Kuroo realizes that he doesn’t ever want to lose this.

Suddenly, Bokuto’s friendship is the most important thing in the world. Kuroo decides that it’s probably always been that way, and that it’s just taken him entirely too long to realize it.

* * *

 

Kuroo feels a mixture of nostalgia and longing as he looks around the Nekoma gym; it makes his heart heavy.

“Thanks for coming to practice today, Kuroo-san!”  Lev is loud in Kuroo’s ear, as always, and he realizes that he isn’t used to it anymore. That fact sits uncomfortably in the pit of his stomach.

“I’m glad to be here,” Kuroo answers honestly. “You guys look great.”

Lev, specifically, has improved so much, and Kuroo has been spending the entire afternoon thinking of ways to tell him.

Kuroo looks to Kenma sitting at his feet, PSP in hand. “You must be a good senpai after all, Kenma.”

“I think it’s mostly Yamamoto.”

“C’mon, give yourself some credit!” Kuroo leans down to ruffle Kenma’s hair. He misses him. He misses all of them, if he’s being honest with himself.

He doesn’t think he’d trade university, though. Not now that he’s gotten a taste of the freedom that comes with it. And spending every single day with Bokuto.

“What’s it like being on a team with Oikawa Tooru?” Inuoka asks after taking a sip from his water bottle.

Kuroo chuckles at the mesmerized sound of his voice. “Well, being on a team with Oikawa is _awesome_ , to be honest. But living with him is… less awesome.”

“Oikawa-san is your _roommate?”_ Inuoka exclaims.

“Yes? Somebody has to be.”

“He could live in a single dorm.”

“Kenma, why do you always gotta do me like this?”

“I’m just stating a counterfact, Kuro.”

“You’re a counterfact.”

“I wish you didn’t have to leave, Kuroo-san,” Inuoka says, eyes wide with amusement at Kuroo and Kenma’s bantering.

Kuroo sighs and walks over to the now-second-year, putting his arm around him. “You guys are doing great without me.” Kuroo means it, even though it tastes bitter in his mouth. He can’t help the jealousy that’s built up throughout the day at just how good they’ve gotten without him.

“We still miss you, though.”

Kuroo feels warm and loved and he really doesn’t _want_ to leave. But he is already beginning to feel antsy about getting back to school. Being home is hard once you’ve experienced living at university, and Kuroo misses his friends.

“What if we got coach to arrange some sort of field trip for us to visit you? And we could have a practice match against your university team?”

Lev’s sudden suggestion causes Kuroo to smirk mischievously. “I mean, I _could_ ask my coach about it. But are you sure you’re up for that? Our team is _really good_.”

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Lev.”

“Kenma, you’re so discouraging,” Yamamoto yells, running to join them.

“How did you even hear our conversation?”

“I know all, we’ve been over this.”

“I think a practice match against university students would be awesome!” Inuoka adds.

“That’s me, Bo, Oikawa, and a lot other really good players on one team, are you sure?”

“Yes!” Lev, Inuoka, and Yamamoto say in unison and Kuroo laughs when he hears Kenma groan in return.

“I’m not even sure he’ll go for it. I don’t exactly have much pull, since I’m a first year.”

“But he started you as a first year,” Lev says.

“That’s true. But there’s some things you can only get with seniority. I’ll talk to him, though. It would be fun. Bo would love it too.”

“I haven’t seen Bokuto-san in _forever_ ,” Inuoka says excitedly.

“Maybe I can convince him to stop by tomorrow. I don’t know if he’d want to miss Fukurodani’s practice, though.”

“Alright, let’s get the gym cleaned up.”

Kuroo smiles at the way the rest of the team listens to Yamamoto. Even Kenma stands up and begins helping. Kuroo pulls out his phone and starts taking Snapchats to send to his friends. He captions one picture with “ _they grow up so fast_ ,” and another with “ _the children hard at work_.”

He’s snickering to himself at a particularly funny closeup he took of Lev that he plans on just captioning with “ _leg”_ when his vision goes white.

Suddenly, the left side of Kuroo’s back is burning. _It’s burning_. And it won’t stop. Kuroo feels himself shout, but he doesn’t really hear it. He falls against the gym wall, which is definitely a mistake, and the pain escalates.

“ _Fuck_.” Kuroo tries to regulate his breathing, but it’s difficult. He squeezes his eyes shut and then blinks them until he can see again.

Kenma’s in front of him now and he’s thankful for that. He doesn’t know what to do, but he thinks Kenma might.

“Kuro. Kuro, look at me. Kuro. Are you okay?”

“It fucking _burns_.” The words snap Kuroo back to reality as it dawns on him exactly what’s going on. He suddenly feels really bad for going back to sleep when Oikawa got his soulmark.

“Where?”

“My back,” Kuroo pants. “Fuck, I was _not_ ready for this today.” Kuroo lets out a breathy laugh, then, and he can feel the rest of the team surrounding him and Kenma, but he can’t really see them, the outer ring of his vision blurry.

“Okay, I think if you stop leaning on the wall, it’ll hurt a little less.” There’s a hint of sarcasm in Kenma’s voice, but Kuroo can tell that he’s concerned. “Can you stand?”

“Yeah, yeah. The pain is already getting better.”

Kenma pulls Kuroo off the wall, then, and Kuroo holds himself up on wobbly legs, steadying himself with a hand on the wall. He closes his eyes and breathes in deeply. He counts _one...two...three_ and then snaps his eyes back open.

Before he can stop himself, Kuroo makes a bee-line for the locker room, pulling his shirt over his head in the process.

He can hear the Nekoma players following him, but they at least have the decency to not go any farther than the doorway of the locker room.

When Kuroo gets to the sink, he faces his back toward the mirror and stretches his neck around to see.

Before he can grumble to himself about how inconveniently placed the soulmark is, Kuroo loses his breath. He’s staring at the work of art on his back; a knot in his stomach, and his heart in his throat.

It’s half of a feather. At least Kuroo thinks it is. It’s gray – or silver, maybe, and almost looks like a hand-sketch, and Kuroo thinks that it gives it a lot of character. It’s attached to the center of the feather, but the other half is clearly missing. Kuroo wonders if his soulmate’s mark is the other half, and he wonders what it looks like.

The half-feather is currently red around the edges and it still burns. The mark starts in the center of his left shoulder blade and moves diagonally down toward his spine. He’s suddenly grateful that he’s home and that he can go to his parents with this. They’ll know exactly what to do so that Kuroo can begin caring for his mark properly until it’s entirely healed.

Kuroo just stares at the mark. He doesn’t know how to look away from it, even as he begins to feel the strain in his neck.

Eventually, he sees Kenma slowly approaching him in the reflection in the mirror, and Kuroo snaps his head around to meet him.

“Turn around, let me see it.”

“Oho, so forceful, Kenma.”

“C’mon, Kuro.”

Kuroo turns around and rests his forehead against the cold mirror.

“Wow.”

“ _Wow?”_

“Yes, wow. What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know. Something like, _it’s beautiful_ , or something. I don’t know. I think it’s beautiful.”

“It _is_ , Kuro. Calm down. It’s really cool, actually.”

“Awe, Kenma can have opinions.”

“I can’t win with you, can I?”

“What would be the fun in that?”

“I think spending so much time with Bokuto has made you worse.”

“ _Fuck!”_ Kuroo yells louder than he means to, jogging back toward the gym. He doesn’t have service in the locker room, and he _has_ to call Bokuto right-fucking-now. He promised, after all.

Once he makes his way to a wall on the other side of the gym, Kuroo leans against it with his right shoulder and pulls his phone from his pocket. He clicks on Bokuto’s name from their recent texting conversation and presses the call button. He puts the phone to his ear and tries to think of how he’s going to tell him.

“Kuroooooo!” He’s pulling the phone from his ear before he can even greet Bokuto, and he doesn’t know why he expected anything less. “I was just about to call you!”

“Oh shit, really, man? What’s up?”

“No, you called me. You go first.”

“No, no, you sound really excited. What is it?” Kuroo needs more time to collect himself before he says anything else.

“Okay, okay! Well…” Bokuto pauses and Kuroo finds himself looking around the gym, anxious, but unsure as to why. “I… I got my soulmark, Tets!”

The world shifts under Kuroo’s feet as the gym shifts out of focus.

He feels his phone slip from his fingers, and he manages to catch it, his hands fumbling and shaking.

“You _what?_ ” Kuroo’s voice is more shrill than he knew was possible. He rolls his forehead against the wall so that his nose is touching it. He lets in a shallow breath.

“Yeah… I got my soulmark. It’s really awesome, Tets. It’s like… I think it’s a feather? But it’s like half a feather. If it’s even a feather. It’s like a bunch of broken up black lines. They look like they were drawn onto my skin. They’re all like pointy and kind of look like fire, I guess. Oh, and it’s on my back. Like my left shoulderblade?”

Kuroo literally wants to sink into the floor and die. He considers beating his head against the wall until he at least passes out.

This cannot be fucking happening.

“It really looks like a feather?” Kuroo’s voice is a breathless whisper when he finally dares to speak.

“Yeah, man, it’s cool as fuck. I can’t wait for you to see it! My soulmate must be cool as _fuck_ , this is no ordinary feather.”

Kuroo laughs darkly, pulling the phone away from his mouth. He digs his nails into the palm of his free hand and bites his lip. Maybe if he causes himself enough pain, he’ll just wake up.

“That’s–” it takes all of Kuroo’s will power to control himself, “that’s really cool, Bo. I can’t wait to see it.”

“Yeah, man!” Bokuto just sounds _so excited_ and Kuroo wishes he would just spontaneously combust. “Wait, what did you want to tell me, Tets?”

“Uhm.” Kuroo’s heart begins hammering in his chest, anxiety filling his lungs. “The kids over here miss you, I guess, and they were wondering if you’d stop by tomorrow.” He thanks every god for his ability to lie through his teeth and save face in times of need. This is definitely a time of _dire_ need.

He then immediately regrets inviting Bokuto to anything he himself would be at, but it was the only excuse he had, and he guesses he’s stuck with it now.

“Oh, I’d love to, Tets, but Fukurodani is actually going to a practice match tomorrow. I’m going to travel with them and help out and stuff.” _Thank fuck._ “You can come if you want, though.”

“No, no,” Kuroo says entirely too fast, his voice still higher than it should be. “I definitely want to get another day in with these guys. They’ve improved a lot.”

“Awe, well okay, man. I’ll just see you on Monday at the train station.”

“Yeah, of course,” Kuroo fights back what he thinks would have been a whimper. “Hey, Bo, I gotta go.”

“Okay?” Bokuto sounds confused, but he doesn’t comment further. “I’ll talk to you later, then. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, Tets!”

“Yeah, you too,” Kuroo barely gets out, the need to hang up his phone and throw it across the gym almost too strong. “And, uh, congrats on your soulmark, Bo.”

Kuroo wants to scale the school building and then come back down at a much faster rate.

“Thanks, Tets!” Kuroo can hear Bokuto’s grin through his words as he pulls the phone from his ear and hangs up, his entire arm shaking uncontrollably.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck._

Kuroo tries to brace himself on the wall, but he’s too antsy for that. He stands up straight, his knees beginning to give out. He looks up to see Kenma approaching. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to explain this to him. The situation in general _or_ what he just did.

_Fuck._

Kenma begins to go in and out of focus and Kuroo swears that the room is spinning around him. He feels the dull burn on his left shoulder blade.

_The same burn that Bokuto must be feeling._

Kuroo feels his phone slip from his hand without acknowledging what that means. He hears a smacking sound echo throughout the gym; a tell-tale sign that his phone has fallen to the floor.

Before Kuroo is able to process anything else, his body does the same.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it here - THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart for sticking it out through 12k+ words of I don't even know what. Basically 12 thousand words of setting the scene. Whoops.
> 
> I know it's a bit predictable, but what is a fic if it doesn't run on foreshadowing and dramatic irony?
> 
> [This](https://i.pinimg.com/736x/af/7c/b4/af7cb4bf29ccbacf930b6e6d2535b746--owl-feather-tattoos-feather-tattoo-design.jpg) is the inspiration for Bokuto and Kuroo's soulmark. I started crying when I found it. Thank you again to Jess for bringing up the idea of a feather and leading me to this absolutely perfect discovery.
> 
>  **Please** , if you could comment and/or leave kudos, that would be amazing. You can also come ~~yell at me~~ talk to me on [tumblr.](http://narutosasukes.tumblr.com) I'd love to hear what you have to say!
> 
> Once again, thank you for reading this. Really. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! I can't wait for next time. <3


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